How strong are your Parenting Muscles?

Muscles get stronger with training and use. You go to college for several years to train for a job or profession. You hire a personal trainer to get into shape. You follow a training regimen in order to compete in a particular race. You join Toastmasters to develop your speaking skills. You take dance lessons to learn to dance. My question is… how much training have you had for the most important job of your life? Parenting.

Take this “Parenting Muscles” Quiz to find out how strong your Parenting Muscles are. Answer True or False.

1. My kids do what I want with ease.
2. My kids never argue with me.
3. I feel that I can get my kids to easily meet my expectations in the home and in public, ie: bedtime, chores, schoolwork, manners, errands, etc.
4. I am totally calm and at peace on the inside when parenting.
5. I feel completely in charge when it comes to my kids.
6. I can be completely in charge in a loving and kind way every time I parent.

What I find is that some parents find themselves a little helpless in getting their kids to do what is expected. These parents negotiate with their kids, try to reason with them, argue with them, and end up giving in to what their kids want. These parents are afraid to upset their kids, and they desperately want to be the “nice guy”. I know, because I was THAT parent.

If your score above included more False than True answers, then you may benefit by training your parenting muscles. The way your kid responds to you is YOUR responsibility. It’s not your partner’s fault. You would never expect the push-ups your partner does to make your arms stronger! You are a grown up. You have the ability to foster the type of relationship you want with your kids. Take full responsibility. All of the info is out there.

Stop blaming your kid for how they’re acting, or blaming your partner for not making the kid do what you wanted when you’re the one “on duty”. Thing is, when you’re on duty, you are the one in charge. If you are looking to your partner to lay down the law, then so is your kiddo. You need to be the one they look to for their expectations when they are with you if you ever want their respect. Truth is… boundaries and expectations make kids feel safe…. but that’ll be its own blog post.

Parenting Muscles… you’ve got them, even if they’re not strong. It’s not hard. Google it. Google the situation you would like help with. Try some of the suggested techniques until something works. I ended up hiring a Love and Logic Parenting Coach. She helped me figure out what I would say in every possible variation of the conversations I was planning to have… like going to school, getting off the computer, doing homework. There were several meetings to deal with each one of the behaviors, and it worked! Hiring a parenting coach was the very best thing I have done for my relationship with my son and success in parenting him in a firm but loving way.

Grow your Parenting Muscles and become an Empowered Parent that can guide your kiddos to success in life.

Happy Parenting!

Candice A. Torresdal